There are a lot of books and blogs and vlogs and everything else under the sun trying to help gamemasters become better at what they do, but I don’t think enough time is spent on giving advice to players. In the end, though, GMs aren’t the only ones who can and should up their game! After all, gaming is a group activity, and so its up to each participant to do their part to make the whole activity fun.

Just remember that this is advice, and that different people need help with different things. Maybe you just picked up your first dice (or are about to soon!) or maybe you’ve been playing since the original brown box first hit the shelves. Either way, these techniques could be the difference between having the most fun or ultimately giving up on the hobby.

1) Respect is Key

Playing a TTRPG is a group activity, and all group activities consist of something called a “social contract,” essentially sociology speak for the agreed upon rules of an activity, usually unspoken but understood through convention. In other words, we don’t really talk about what it means to get together and play a game, but we all go into it with assumptions about what is okay and what isn’t.

Assumptions are dangerous. Most of us are aware of the old saying about what happens when you assume, after all. That means that, as difficult as it might be, the only thing to do is actually have a conversation with your gaming group about that conventions your group is going to operate under. Some of these are simple, like deciding who brings the snacks and drinks, while others can be much more difficult, like what types of concepts and content you are okay with in a game.

Even in the closest groups of friends, some people are going to have disagreements and differences of opinion. This is normal. The key is to respect those differences and work together, as a group, to make sure that no one in the group is being singled out or treated unfairly. Take turns, don’t speak over others, and if someone says they are not okay with something, like a topic of conversation or a scenario in the story, then change course.

See, what might be a gripping adventure for one player may be extremely uncomfortable for another. Things like hostages, murder, and sexual assault are all big parts of the plot lines of many pivotal works of fiction, but for some people these things (and many others) may hit too close to home to be fun. They may even induce a panic in those other players. Just remember, you may or may not know why something bothers them, but its also not something that they are obligated to explain to you.

You don’t have to agree with their assessment, but being respectful means realizing that they are different than you and that’s okay. Don’t argue about it, and definitely don’t ridicule them in front of others, just know that if something bothers a person enough to speak up, there is probably a good reason for it, and that they are under no obligation to explain themselves. Some things just hurt, and unless we have been in those positions ourselves, its not always easy to understand. Respect is accepting that and moving forward.

There are many safety tools that have been developed to tackle these types of situations, such as Lines and Veils or the X-Card, but in my experience, a simple conversation can do wonders, assuming the group consists of friends outside the game group. For groups of random strangers at the Friendly Local Gaming Store or online, then I would definitely suggest requesting something like this from the GM and also being very understanding if the are brought to bear.

2) Learn the Rules

While its true that the GM is the person who needs to know the rules the best, this doesn’t mean that a player has no need for them. On the contrary! Having at least a cursory understanding of the core rules (such as this whole chapter) will go a long way toward helping you navigate the game. If the GM is having to slow everything down every time its your turn to do something then everyone’s fun is going to eventually come crashing to a halt.

Don’t misunderstand me, its normal not to understand all the rules, especially at the beginning, and even the GM will have things they have to look up sometimes even make up as they go to keep the game running. Don’t fear holding people back, but also do what you can to keep the game flowing. The GM will appreciate it, and so will your fellow players!

3) Understand the Setting

The world the game takes place in is called the setting, and settings have certain “rules” around them. Just think back to a favorite movie or book. Within those stories the magic or technology or political system were all set up in very specific ways. Now imagine a is a single character started acting against those guidelines. It would essentially ruin the whole story and destroy any immersion you might have had in the events of the story!

This is true with a game setting as well, in that the GM, either through a published setting or one they made up themselves, has laid down some core rules about how the world works, and everyone will have more fun if everyone stays close to that. You don’t need to know every bit of lore (and it might even be more fun if you don’t) but its pretty clear that Jedi don’t belong in the Lord of the Rings!

Try to know and follow the tone and genre conventions of a setting, if nothing else. These are usually pretty easily defined, and most settings give a list of example media to set the mood, so take a look at these to try and get an understanding of what is expected. I’m definitely not saying don’t color outside the lines, just know that if you stray too far from the lines the overall image is lost.

4) Emergent Storytelling

The idea of roleplaying isn’t to have the GM tell you a story. Its about “emergent storytelling,” which is just a fancy way to say that the story is created based on the smaller individual bits of narrative that come from your reactions and choices within the scenario. There isn’t a script, and you aren’t confined to the programmed responses of a video game, after all!

Don’t be afraid to ask the GM for more information about a topic you find interesting, nor should you be afraid to take an action that seems “off script,” so long as it makes sense within the fiction. The king is not going to give you a piggyback ride no matter how charismatic you are (unless its a comedy game, then all bets are off) but climbing a building to get a better view or taking a shortcut through a shop during a chase may be very possible actions but still not something the GM had anticipated.

On a related note, also remember that your character is not the “main character,” but instead, each player character is. Some scenes are going to naturally favor some players more than others, maybe even entire sessions. Your time in the spot light will come (and if you feel like it hasn’t in a long time, then maybe talk to the GM one-on-one about it, they may not realize!

5) Describe Intentions not Actions

A key part of playing a TTRPG is describing the action you want your character to make. When you are doing this, try to focus more on what the intended outcome of the action is than the actual action itself. In other words, say things more like “I want to get a better view, is there a way to climb onto the roof?” instead of “I look for a ladder“. The first gives the GM a lot of leeway into how to best integrate your action into the flow of the game, while the second not only forces the story in a very specific path but it also makes the GM guess as to why you want that ladder,. Not only that, but if they guess incorrectly, then its likely you aren’t going to be happy with the outcome.

After all, part of the GM’s job is to connect the dots and smooth out the edges of the story, and if they better understand your goal, they may be able to help you accomplish it in a way that fits the narrative. In the first example in the previous paragraph the GM might reply something like: “The roof on the far side of the building is low enough that you can reach it with an Athletics test,” or “You see a ladder laying by the side of the house.” Without the context, the GM may just say there isn’t a ladder around, because they don’t understand what it is that you are trying to accomplish.

This also lets the GM know what the stakes are for the task. If you fail this, what happens next? A failed roll to get onto the roof looks very different than a failed roll to find a ladder, and that is going to dictate very different consequences.

6) Be Engaged

Finally, everyone who plays a TTRPG does so because they get something out of it. Maybe it fulfills a creative drive, or maybe its just a social activity with friends, or maybe its somewhere else on that spectrum (or many others). Some see TTRPGs as very serious, while some like to have a lot of fun and joke and reference Monty Python in the middle of a game. All of these things are fine, because we are all different. The most important thing, though, is to be engaged with the game.

Don’t be on your phone, or reading a book, or watching a YouTube video, etc. Listen to what the other players and the GM are doing and saying, and be thinking of how you are going to contribute. If you find that you can’t stay focused on the game, maybe have a discussion with the GM (outside of the game, just one-on-one) to try and see what can be done to help. Maybe its the subject matter of the game, or the direction of the plot, or maybe you just don’t like your character. The only way to fix any of those things is to be engaged enough to notice them and then talk about it!

In Conclusion

As you can see, at the core of each of these tips is either communication or doing a little bit of homework. Kind of like everything else in life, knowledge is power and you can do anything with the power of friendship. At least that is what I learned from the movies!